Forgiving
by starstrucked
Summary: When Cohen decided he was going to run away from her on a stupid boat, leaving her with a stupid note, she had severed all ties with him. -- [SethSummer]


Forgiving

By starstruck

Author's Note: I don't know why I'm admitting this, but this is actually my first O.C. fic. It almost became a multi-chaptered fic, but then I realized that I shouldn't subject _more _people to my horrible updating habits, so I managed to change it completely into a one shot.

In any case, this is my take on Seth and Summer's reunion. I have a strange feeling that she's not going to forgive him for running off, and we'll have a season full of Seth/Summer angst. And I really can't decide if that's a bad thing or a good thing, but anyway, I wanted to get this out before anything's definite. (Which happens in _November_! How do they expect us to survive?)

Oh, and sorry in advance if the tense is weird. I kept reverting to present tense because I've been writing in present tense recently, and I tried to keep it to an absolute minimum, but I'm not exactly sure if it worked.

I should also mention how sorry I am for the lame title. My title creativity was just not working.

--

Summer Roberts wasn't exactly sure why she'd come to Chino's "Welcome Back To Newport" party. A year ago, it would've been so she could meet rich older guys. Five or six months ago, it would've been because she totally could not leave Anna and Cohen alone because then they would like make out and the idea of those two making out was just so... ew. And two months ago, she would've gone because Chino was her boyfriend's best friend and her best friend's boyfriend.

But now, she had no one to introduce her to the hot older guys, Anna was gone, Marissa was drunk and they hadn't had a real conversation in weeks, and Cohen was so not her boyfriend anymore. She had learned a long time ago that if she dealt with boys and their stupid problems that she'd end up like Coop, who got drunk to escape, not to party. Which was totally wrong.

The fact was, that no one who mattered ever left Summer Roberts. So when Cohen decided he was going to run away from her on a stupid boat, leaving her with a stupid note, she had severed all ties with him.

...which was more frustrating than it should've been.

Just somehow, her sophomore and junior years had ended on completely different notes. Sophomore summer she had been totally ready to party. Junior summer was supposed to be the summer of Seth, Summer, Marissa, and Ryan, where they went everywhere together and ended up splitting up to make out or whatever. And if they were still there, Luke and Anna totally could've come too, only Luke and Anna making out would've been almost as bad Cohen and Anna making out. But that vision had ended abruptly when that Theresa chick had had the nerve to get pregnant and take Chino back to Chino with her. Still, the summer of Seth and Summer wasn't such a bad idea, and Coop could totally hang with them sometimes if she wanted to. If she didn't mind them making out or whatever.

But that had ended when Cohen had taken off in her namesake the boat and left her a stupid note.

The summer of Summer and Marissa only lasted briefly until Summer realized that Marissa was drinking again, which was totally ew and made Marissa so not fun to hang out with.

So all the perfect summer visions were left to rest and Summer was left totally alone.

And furious with the people she had been hanging out with all year. She had never been close to those girls she got drunk with, except Marissa and Holly, and she didn't even remember half the guys she'd made out with at those parties. And whatever friendship she had had with them in the first place had dwindled down even more over the last year, and she wasn't sure she could just call them and show up. And even if she could, she didn't ever feel like partying anymore.

Which totally, totally sucked.

But there was totally no way she was going to spend her entire summer alone. So she called up Anna in Pittsburg and told her to come for the summer because they were Cohen's exes and they should make an anti-Cohen club.

But Anna didn't dislike Cohen the way Summer did.

But she still came for a little while in July, and they would watch Golden Girls and go to movies together, and Anna would eat the buttery popcorn on the top just like Cohen used to. In fact, hanging out with Anna was a lot like hanging out with Cohen, only she they never made out or had sex because Summer and Anna both liked guys. Which sucked, Summer decided. Because boys sucked.

She even missed Anna a little when she went back to Pittsburg, but only a little, because she knew Anna felt a little sorry for her because her friends sucked now, and Summer hated it when people felt sorry for her.

One day, Holly called her up and invited her to one of her huge parties, and since Summer had nothing to do but talk to Princess Sparkle, she said yes. She hated that she talked to Princess Sparkle, because talking to a plastic horse was something Cohen might do, and Summer hated doing things that Cohen would do. So Summer spent the rest of the summer going to just enough parties to keep from being completely shunned from the really drunk kids of Newport (not including Marissa, of course, because everyone knew now that Marissa was totally crazy and had like, tried to kill herself in Mexico).

Now Summer was alone again, only she was at a party for Chino, which meant there were Newpsies all around her, but now, for some reason, that made her feel even more alone than ever.

"Summer."

She had been too deep in thought to notice him come up behind her, so his voice made her jump. She wished he had been far enough away that she could pretend not to have heard him and escape, but at this proximity, she'd have to be deaf or really really stupid not to have heard him. Or technically, she could ignore him, but then he would think that she wasn't over him, and she absolutely was.

"Cohen," she said coldly.

...she was just still mad at him.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come."

"Oh."

"But... I'm. Glad. I'm glad you came."

"Right."

And awkwardness.

"Look, Summer, I..."

"I don't want to hear it, Cohen," she informed him icily and stared at her fingers, checking to see if there was a chip in her nail polish anywhere.

He didn't say anything for a little while, so she looked up at him. And he didn't look sad or hopeful anymore, and she was afraid he looked maybe a little pissed off, and she didn't know why, because it's not like he has any right to be after what he did to her.

"Cohen?" she inquired disdainfully.

"Look, Summer," he groaned. "I didn't leave because I didn't care about you or anyone else. Because I do. I left because I felt like no one cared about me. I mean, Ryan left, and mom and dad had already said I could sail away for the summer, and you... you were willing to dump me because your father didn't like me."

She paused, and thought that maybe he has a little bit of a point, but luckily it was a small enough point to ignore.

"It wasn't like I dumped you for good," she said, and her volume comes down just a little.

"Yeah, but it was enough, Summer," he said. "I don't think I'd have cared enough to dump you if my parents didn't approve of you."

"Well, they would've loved you no matter what you did," she said loudly, and his expression changed again, and it was just maybe a little pitying, but she hated pity, and so she stalked off, her heels clicking on the pavement. She swept into the crowd, hoping that maybe he wouldn't find her if she disappeared quickly enough.

But he did, of course, because he spent so many lonely years watching her, and now he knows her mannerisms, which is totally frustrating, because sometimes she just wants to be alone, and go somewhere where no one can find her. Sometimes she just needed a place where she could be alone and cry, but she never finds it, and she always has to resort to crying in movie theaters and during really sad episodes of _The Valley_. And Anna had thought that maybe it was a little weird that they always saw sad movies, because they always both ended up crying in the back of the theater.

Cohen tentatively approached her, maybe because he was afraid of her rage blackouts, but more likely because he was afraid that she might run away, like a wild animal might.

"Summer?"

She turned away slightly. She knew that she really couldn't avoid this conversation, but it was always worth trying because she really hated talking about her feelings or his feelings or anyone else's just because they always ended up crying and miserable. Just like her parents did.

He sat next to her on the pool chair, but she still didn't look up at him. And then he puts his hand on her thigh just slightly so she can tell that it's there for comfort.

And she thought suddenly that maybe she missed his hands when they were gone.

And suddenly her whole horrible summer played before her eyes and she choked back a sob. His arms folded all the way around her, and she opened her mouth to yell at him, because after his whole sailing stint it's not like he deserves to be able to, but instead her sob finally tumbled out along with a whole lot of others, and then she was clutching to his shirt, staining it with her tears, and he was telling her how sorry he was, and how he knows now that it was selfish of him.

And she thought that maybe she'd forgive him.

And maybe she already had.


End file.
